Identity & Self Esteem

How someone sees and values themselves — and why it shapes nearly everything else.

What it is

Self-esteem is the overall sense of value someone places on themselves, separate from any one identity category like gender or sexuality (covered specifically under Gender Identity & Sexual Orientation, below). Low self-esteem tends to act as a multiplier on other struggles — making depression, anxiety, and relationship difficulties harder to climb out of.

Good to know

Self-esteem isn't fixed — it responds to evidence over time, which is why therapy approaches that build small, real successes tend to work better than simply trying to “think more positively.”

What helps

Identifying where harsh self-judgment is coming from — often an old pattern learned early, not an accurate read on reality now — is usually the real starting point in therapy, more than surface-level affirmations.

When to seek help

If self-criticism is a near-constant background noise, or is stopping you from pursuing things you actually want, that's a legitimate, specific thing to bring to a counsellor — not something to wait out.

Before you call

What to expect at your first counselling sessionNervous about a first session? It's mostly just talking, at your pace. Here's what usually happens — and what won't.

Services that can help

See all related services in NL